


Silent Lucidity

by Sonnenreigen



Category: The Order (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, Song - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:48:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25826920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonnenreigen/pseuds/Sonnenreigen
Summary: While waiting in the car for Hamish, Vera heard a song that reminded her of the most beautiful and painful affective memory she had.
Relationships: Hamish Duke/Vera Stone, Vermish - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Silent Lucidity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Celtic_girl_Sima](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celtic_girl_Sima/gifts).



> Hello!
> 
> Yesterday I had an idea for a fanfic in which Vera remembers her daughter, I would use another song, but Silent Lucidity brings me so good and beautiful (and happy, in a way) affective memories that I decided to use it here.
> 
> This fic can be read either in AU or in canon. I dedicate it to Celtic_girl_Sima, who is today's birthday girl!

It had been a while since Vera Stone and Hamish Duke were hanging out and even though they hadn't talked about the labels the relationship had, it was obvious that they were serious and solid.

On a rainy Friday afternoon, Hamish was waiting for Vera's message for him to pick her up at Belgrave University so they could enjoy a weekend in a cabin far from the city. Since that week had been extremely busy for him, the boy didn’t have much time to buy the necessary food for them to spend a comfortable weekend, so he would do that after picking up the dean.

As soon as he received the message, Hamish drove to the rectory building and waited outside the car, holding an umbrella. When he saw the beautiful woman leaving the rectory building, Hamish walked towards Vera, grabbed the bag she was carrying, lowered the umbrella he was holding so that no one could see them, and greet her with a passionate kiss.

“Are you crazy?”

“For you, yes.” Hamish replied laughing.

As soon as they got in the car, Hamish told the unpleasant news:

“Unfortunately we will have to stop halfway to finish buying the groceries for the weekend ... I had many corrections of activities and I barely had time to do that. Forgive me.”

“Okay. But I make it clear that I have no intention of going out under this rain to help you buy things.” Vera smiled, taking a towel from her bag in order to dry her hair.

“Thank you so much for your support!” He replied with a smile.

Hamish drove to a supermarket just outside the city and parked near the door of the establishment, while Vera was in the car trying to dry her wet hair.

In order to improve the waiting time, Vera decided to turn on the radio and continued to towel the long hair. Suddenly, an old and well-known song started playing on the radio. With the sound of the first guitar chords, Vera was transported back to June of 1994.

Even though that week was considered the hottest of the year, the heat did not bother the young 16 years old girl, who was holding a beautiful 4 months old little girl in her arms. The wind was gentle and the birdsong helped the young mother to lull her daughter, who, even with all the tranquility of the afternoon, wept from time to time for not being able to sleep.

Without someone else's help, Vera tried to deal with the pregnancy and motherhood the way she could. At that moment, the way she had found was to turn on the radio and hope that some music would calm her daughter. And this happened! The song was a little unusual for lulling a baby, but the girl fell asleep as soon as the first chords sounded.

> “I will be watching over you
> 
> I am gonna help you see it through
> 
> I will protect you in the night
> 
> I am smiling next to you, in silent lucidity”

Shortly after that afternoon, Vera had recorded a tape with that song, since it had become one of her little daughter's favorite songs, who died 3 months later. As a way of relieving the pain and the grieve, Vera spent years listening to that tape and remembering the afternoons that her daughter was sleeping in her arms. As the years passed by, the dean had forgotten about that song, so that hearing it unexpectedly brought up old feelings and past pains that would never heal.

It didn't take long for Vera's weeping noises be mixes with the chords of the song and the heavy rain that fell mercilessly on the car. Vera reached out the bag again, pull off her wallet and took from there an old heart-shaped necklace. When opening a piece, she revealed the face of a child who was trying to give her first smile.

‘I am smiling next to you, in silent lucidity.’ The singer said, before finishing the song.

Vera needed a few minutes to recover from the unexpected return of so many emotional memories and she tried to do that before Hamish got to the car, with no sucess.

“So, shall we go?” - Hamish said before starting the car. Noticing the woman's red eyes and tears and the way she held the necklace, he wrapped her in a tight hug and didn’t say a word until he felt the hug was enough.

As soon as she recovered, Vera looked at Hamish, who was trying to smile in order to hide his concern for his darling.

“I am smiling next to you, in silent lucidity.” She said, looking a bit away from the present moment.

“Queensryche?” Hamish asked.

“Just drive. This is a topic for another day.” Vera said, before the other one drove towards the cabin.

**Author's Note:**

> Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhat-xUQ6dw
> 
> One of the emotional memories I have with this song is back in 1999, when I put it on the tape that had it to calm me when some things that bothered my 7-year-old self were happening. Even though I didn't know English or what it was about, I felt very calmed by it. <3
> 
> I don't know if this story is worth continuing or if I end it as it is. I believe your purpose has been achieved but idk.


End file.
